A Writer's Life

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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Remember a Story Teller

I remember a story teller…in me

The teller is now searching the story

…the story not untold but a dimension of the story that is yet to unfold.

No! Nothing different but the unique way of looking at the story as the story of your life

..remember the Potli Baba Ki from Doordarshan – a man with a bundle of short stories that he hung on his shoulders

He imagined and made others imagine that the bundle of cloth indeed had stories

..and he would pull out the one, most matching to your life

He would come up with hopes, aspirations we may have lost

…while leading our lives, our strength may fade

And these stories provide us with the most awaited shade

Shade from the heated arguments with our people, shade from the long sunny days, through which we toil hard to earn a fortune

A secret known to the ones who see or read…

that it is in these stories that values and imagination breeds

“Stories”…I say “Stories” and it evokes a lot of memories in you and in me

And I want to be not much but a storyteller, who is remembered when you hear the magical word “stories” again.

I want to be part of not a publishing house but a part of your memory

I want to be heard and read                                                    

I want to be understood and want to understand…

…the characters in my story

They speak through words, letters of which float on my mind

They type their characters through my fingertips

They play and plot a story on my keyboard like an involuntary rhythm of a pianist that requires no direction

I am a storyteller

Are you willing to hear what I want to say???

…about you – to you???

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Game that COST a Life

The Game of that COST Life
Not many moons before, one night turned to be the most dreadful one for the Mishras. It was the night when terror struck their ‘Om Sweet Home’, as was inscribed on the name plate on their door.

It was 2 a.m. when Prerna, the only daughter of Mr. Mishra, heard a soft knock on the door. Ignoring it, she went back to study for her exams. She then heard it again and this time the knock was a little louder than earlier, perhaps demanding her attention. Prerna was unsure. She thought of waking up her dad but she then thought it would simply be the wind outside…as it is, it was a stormy night. She ignored it again. Somewhere deep in her heart, she was sure that the 3rd knock is about to follow. And as if listening to her instinct, she heard the 3rd knock but this time the knock was escorted with a voice. The female voice was at first unclear but then perking her ears up, she heard it explicitly calling out the name  - Vineet!

Vineet was her brother, 2 years elder to her. She thought maybe it was some friend of Vineet, who was stranded in the stormy night. That was the first thought that occurred to her, which was immediately replaced with a pang of realization…uh-huh! 2 in the night!?!? Quite unlikely, she thought. She muttered some courage, hesitating to accept any thoughts about the supernatural existence just outside her house, while walking towards the door. She first peeped through the keyhole and found the side-face of a girl dressed in white, standing outside her door. She looked pretty but her face didn’t seem familiar. She was soaked in rain and had the damsel-in-distress expression. With her confidence regained, as Prerna realized that there is no such ghost thing, she opened the door and was thinking of ways to greet this girl, when she saw nobody there. Spooky, eh! She was bewildered. A sudden pang in her chest, reminded her of the horror show she watched earlier that night with her brother Vineet. She immediately banned those thoughts and shrugging her shoulders, closed the door. She insisted on thinking that maybe that girl after the 3rd knock must have felt her try for help was in vain and must be trying some neighbour’s house.

She went back to her book and this time she started reading it aloud to escape her fear and keep her superstitious thoughts at bay. It was not even 5 mins after this episode that she again heard a knock. This time it was a proper knock…not a meek one but a strong one. With fear gripping every part of her body, Prerna resumed her sanity by thinking that the girl, on the other end of the door, must not have found help elsewhere and was trying again at their door. Mustering some courage, Prerna hesitantly called out…”Whoz this?” The girl answered…”Vineet, Vineet…is Vineet in there?”

“Huh,” sighed Prerna…it IS a girl, afterall…not some stupid ghost. Prerna immediately rushed to open the door but then stopped on her tracks almost suddenly. She thought of peeping through the keyhole again and this time she could see nothing but just white. Everything was plain white…it then struck her that maybe that girl is standing right in front of the door and maybe its her dress that is making it look white. Discarding all these thoughts, Prerna clapped her palm on her forehead, smiled and mumbled to herself…”Ya right, Miss 007…just open the door, ok! That poor girl…” thinking thus, Prerna opened the door and found the girl right in front of her door. Prerna looked at her and was struck dumb. She was shocked, taken aback by what she saw…she pointed at that girl,  holding her chest firmly, words refusing to leave her mouth, she tried to speak…”your eyes…y..you..you’re a …”

And that was the last she spoke. Prerna died on the spot, had a heart attack. She fell on the floor with her hands pointing towards the girl, all frozen in terror. What scared her was that the girl’s pupils were all white, and the thought of her looking through the keyhole at Prerna from outside the door, was shuddering. The sound of laughter echoed the house. In no time, the owners of the laughing voices came out of their hide-outs…it was Vineet and his friends, trying to play a prank on Prerna, who was so scared after watching the horror show. Vineet was teasing his sis, when Prerna ignored the whole idea of supernatural and with an attitude of a bravado, replied to her big brother…”Oh, puhlezzz, I aint scared, AT ALL.” Vineet just wanted to make sure she accepts that she is scared and so this prank was plot. The girl with the white pupils was actually Vineet’s girlfriend Seema, and she was wearing white lenses, only to scare Prerna out of her wit’s end.

But the group stopped laughing almost immediately at the sight of Prerna, who was no longer Prerna but Prerna’s corpse. Vineet was all shocked…his eyes staring unbelievingly at his sister’s dead body. He slowly moved his hands over his hair, in shock, and pulled his hair back and wailed loudly. The sound was loud enough to wake up the Mishra household.

Mr. Raj Mishra rushed outside to see what’s going on, at this odd hour, past midnight. He saw his daughter lying on the floor with her hands erect, pointing at Vineet now…and her eyes as if torn open in shock. He was unable to figure out anything and held his daughter’s wrist. He checked for her pulse but found no movement of blood within. He turned to face Vineet, held him tightly by his shoulders and spat out words in fury…”What has happened to Prerna? What went wrong…Who did this? And even before Vineet could answer anything, Raj went over his knees in front of his daughter and started wailing loudly. Hearing the sound, the neighbours came rushing in and found Prerna lying dead in shock. Immediately, one of the neighbours rang the police station and called for an ambulance, first.

It was late. Prerna was never to come back. A small prank had taken her life. Vineet was still in shock and unable to say anything. He just sat down on the floor, on his knees, and kept continuously staring at Prerna’s dead body.

There was a lot of hustle and bustle…the police came in, the ambulance took away Prerna’s body in a stretcher, the voices around were at first, loud and audible but soon, for Vineet, he stopped hearing the screams of his friends, the cries of his father, the neighbours trying to wake him out of the shock…everything went blur. The sounds and the faces vanished in front of Vineet’s eyes. He lost consciousness and was hospitalized.

He woke up after 10 hours. The silence of the hospital room and the white paints on the wall, the white ceiling, everything reminded Vineet of what happened a few hours ago. His sister Prerna must have seen all white and must have been scared like he is now…but the difference is – she was scared TO DEATH. At the thought of it, he went cold, cold as dead.

“How am I to accept this harsh truth? How do I cope up with this big a loss? All for this insane JOKE! A JOKE! I did THISss.” Saying so, Vineet hit himself hard…once, thrice, and he went on…when a nurse hearing the noise came rushing for help.

Vineet was soon taken to a psychiatrist. To be a patient of this patient doctor was considered to be the best hope for a person with psychological disorders/stress. The doctor was a bald gentleman with a French beard. He looked more like a judge of a court than a psychiatrist.

Doc clearing his throat, “uh, huh, so are you guilty about what you did?”
Vineet silent.
Doc continues: “So, what do you feel right now? Do you feel like harming yourself?”
Vineet silent.
Doc further probes into Vineet’s psyche by asking more questions.
Vineet silent.
A long pause. Then a loud noise. Vineet answers, screams, shrieking in pain: “WHY AM I ALLLLLLIVEE? WHY???WHY??WHY?
Doc silent.
10 mins pass. 15. 35 mins.
Doc continues to stay silent.

Vineet gives out a hysterical laugh. His eyes are blood-hungry. He looks at the doc and smiles. He bends his knees and sits staring at the doc. Err, the doc’s dead body now!
45 mins.
Vineet picks up a fruit-cutting knife from the fruit basket on a table next to the doc’s study table. He gradually moves towards the now-silent doc, hesitant at first and then the steps are bolder. Far bolder than he ever was! He is carefully dissecting the doctor’s chest, paving his way towards the doc’s heart, pumping its last. He wants his heart. He wants it soooo bad. He wants to feel life. He has forgotten how it is to be alive. He wants to see a heart beat. He carefully removes the doc’s heart. Careful even more in holding the heart in his palms, Vineet walks towards the window pane. He breaks the glass and leaves the still-pumping heart on the parapet.

Vineet then slowly moves back towards the doc, sees his still fearful eyes and remembers what Prerna went through. He thanks the doctor’s corpse. Rushes back to the window, picks the heart again in his palms and climbs down the pipe. He then goes to the cemetery where Prerna is buried. Using a shovel kept there after burying a recently dead body, he digs and digs even further until he sees Prerna. He places the heart on hers, which has stopped beating after the prank, all in the hope of having it pump again to life.
Wish life’s regrets could be done away with!

Vineet then walked away, assuming he gave Prerna her heart back. It was just his attempt at satiating his guilt, getting rid of the heavy feeling on his heart that stopped his heart beat long back. He wanted to feel life, taste life, see its beauty, hear laughter…but he was dead. It was his soul that was now seeking riddance, peace. And his search for peace continued…JUST ONE PRANK!

You think its stupid, yes, it is! Coz it is so stupid to have been the cause of the end of one life…one beautiful life. You may/may not be, but there are still people who are sensitive. Respect others! 

Sunday, September 1, 2013

It Requires a Lot to be Normal...or to be Tagged Normal


Wet your sleeves with tears you want to hide from the world

Wet your eyes in your attempt to not yawn during meetings

Act confident when all you want to do is shy away in a corner of your room with the door bolted tight

Bring on what life has in store for you today, even if you are not up to it

Act cheerful when your actual desire is to cry away in peace

Greet people when in real, you want to slap them right then and there

Smile unnecessarily looking at the familiar faces, when on the contrary, you wish to frown

Lie often for the truth needs to be covered within your eye lids ONLY.

Talk machines, not emotions when at work – so what if you sound inhuman

Listen even while your hand is fiddling in your bag for your ear phones to listen to music instead

Say ‘WoW’ when a friend gifts you, even if you feel there is no ‘WoWness’ factor to it

Feel used but still be of use to your seniors, without any uffs and buts

And when you are done with all this,

…Go to the beach, look left, look right, when you find no one around

Assume you have reached your madness and the time when you walked to the beach is midnight in the middle of your sleep

And SCREAAAAAAAAAAM….as loudly as you can…AAAAHHHHHHHHH

Finally visit your psychologist and hear her say, calmly

“See…I told you…you are normal” J

Now that you have the certificate of being sane and normal, go on to do all the abnormal things again…coz unnatural is abnormal.

Are you laughing reading this?

Well, I don’t take it to heart as I know you are actually crying…you see, thatz Normal ;)

Enjoy your emotive adventures…laugh, cry, yell, stay upset, jump and slap, coz you are a human with emotions and your emotions describe you.
And you narrate your emotions at emotiveadventures.blogspot.com

Sunday, June 30, 2013

I am Afraid to be a Human and I am Afraid to be a Woman, Even More...


 

I am afraid to be a human, and I am afraid to be a woman, even more

Coz situations sometime topple on me

And I stand there, unbalanced, ready to fall

Hoping to be held, hoping to be saved

And then I learn that loved ones stand by your side

But not when you stand against them

You may be right, my dear

But proving it…exhausts you

When expected to prove, you feel weak and numb

When arguing, you spill the venom and wish you were dumb

But I know for sure, my words are my power

My speech though assumed wrongly as a dictator’s

It has the power of a woman, the power of education

The power of differing from right to wrong

The power of innocence and righteousness

I proclaim myself to be a true friend, the truest wife, a soul so committed

That in living these roles, I prioritize myself, always the second

Coz I know, I need no more pampering from me

Well, sometimes I do…

Make a note of it

And surprise me…

Coz after all, I too am a human

In this society, I am afraid to be a woman

I began my life’s learning, thus:

As a child, I learnt I am a girl

I grew to learn the word ‘afraid’

Then I turned into a woman

And now I know what being afraid means

Nevertheless, I am powerful

And my powerfulness worries others

Sometimes my loved ones

And so I have decided to hide this power

Somewhere within me

Let the spark be in me

And fight, when need be!

But by being a woman, I have realized

I choose to be powerless, and that makes me even more powerful

I have learnt the power behind being submissive, at times in life

Only my loved ones are privileged to see my submissive avatar

And they too won’t be spared to know the power…

I withhold in me,

It’s the power that makes me ME

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Habit Vs Love - A Note for My Love...Written Out of Habit

I check the lock twice before leaving for office – Habit!

I make myself some tea, when home alone…but add sugar for two cups of tea, and then remember you aint home – Love!

I struggle throughout the day, dealing with difficult people at work and stringent deadlines – Habit!

I challenge life for more work by throwing an attitude that I will handle it all, because you are with me – Love!

I see wrong – Habit!

I speak about the wrong, I saw – Habit again!

I speak to you about the wrong I saw and seek your support –Love!

I break your heart – Habit!

I find out that my heart is broken too – Love!

I see life as a beautiful present – Habit!

I see life in you – Love!

I am tired by the end of the day, as I reach my body’s capacity to take no more – Habit!
I wipe off my sweat, freshen up and march towards the kitchen to cook something for you – Love!

I begin my day in the wee hours of morning – Habit!

I begin my day by kissing your forehead – Love!

I feel lost and insecure, when something alarms me, something that looks like danger – Habit!

I feel like a fighter and confront these feelings and danger itself, just because you are next to me – Love!

I sleep with a blanket over me – Habit!

I sleep with your arms around me - Love!

Husbands are bread winners of the family – Habit!

Husbands are the reason why a wife will bring herself to eat bread – Love!

I feel beautiful – Habit!

I feel beautiful with a blush because you complimented me – Love!

I breathe – Habit!

I breathe for you – Love!

I save – Habit!

I save for the beautiful future you promised me – a kid and a home, and a happy family – Love!

No matter what, remember as you will, out of habit, that I love you, only because I love you…no reasons attached. Money for me is not a priority but means towards a secured future…you for me are not a priority, but my reason to be born a human, a woman and the woman who loves you. You are the reason for my existence. If money can be weighed above all this, then you are someone whom I encashed on my way from heaven to Earth. You are my money and I am wealthy, walk away from me, over me, and I am the poorest soul on earth…a body with no substance.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Trip to Yercaud

I tripped off a hill and woke up startled. Huh, it was only a dream and the dream was our trip to Yercaud. But alas! I was kicked into the real world (which is actually virtual, in the IT world ;)


The TRI-angles of my life on the pyramids– Arun, Shobhit and Sonica made the circle of my world complete.

This geometrical adventure began with the weird angles called hair pin roads.

At the end of which was a rectangular building called The Grand Palace.


It was when we reached there that our moods changed from lifeless to LiveMore…weather changed from hot to cold, and geometry too changed its subject to art.

The artistic landscapes made me sense God’s presence, yet another time.

There was nothing more I wanted from life when I was in the pool, facing the valley.

What is it in the heights that make us feel closer to God? We tend to become spiritual. Life no more seems to be stressed, it opts for a better adjective…”happy”…it’s the serenity, the calmness of the woods that make me feel one with nature. I can see the uniqueness in me, the purpose of life, and the no-purpose of the rat race we go through, day in and day out.

While I was enchanted in the beauty of nature, during the drive, my thoughts took a hiccup as Shobhit’s comment trailed me off my reverie and I suddenly laughed uncontrollably.

Of course, the “monkey business” (quoted by Shobhit :)) too was engrossed in nature, thriving in the woods. Sometimes, I regret evolution. ;)

Weren’t we better off as monkeys, jumping from daali to daali?  (Shobhit, I said Daali and not Dalmia ;)

Life was treating us with mountains of happiness.

Amidst nature, the two friends re-lived their times with their cute tiffs and pretentious fights.

Look for yourself:



Love gained momentum too:






Moments were captured in cameras in fear of losing them with the ticking of time. But time stood still for a while, surrendering itself to the peak of emotions experienced by us all.

However, finally Time had its way. We had to let go, but only to come again to nature.

Yercaud, we will see you soon! :)

Picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost!!!

Monday, March 4, 2013

It Takes a Lot to Be Tagged As Normal


Wet your sleeves with tears you want to hide from the world

Wet your eyes in your attempt to not yawn during meetings

Act confident when all you want to do is shy away in a corner of your room with the door bolted tight

Bring on what life has in store for you today, even if you are not up to it

Act cheerful when your actual desire is to cry away in peace

Greet people when in real, you want to slap them right then and there

Smile unnecessarily looking at the familiar faces, when on the contrary, you wish to frown

Lie often for the truth needs to be covered within your eye lids ONLY.

Talk machines, not emotions when at work – so what if you sound inhuman

Listen even while your hand is fiddling in your bag for your ear phones to listen to music instead

Say ‘WoW’ when a friend gifts you, even if you feel there is no ‘WoWness’ factor to it

Feel used but still be of use to your seniors, without any uffs and buts

And when you are done with all this,

…Go to the beach, look left, look right, when you find no one around

Assume you have reached your madness and the time when you walked to the beach is midnight in the middle of your sleep

And SCREAAAAAAAAAAM….as loudly as you can…AAAAHHHHHHHHH

Finally visit your psychologist and hear her say, calmly

“See…I told you…you are normal” J

Now that you have the certificate of being sane and normal, go on to do all the abnormal things again…coz unnatural is abnormal.

Are you laughing reading this?

Well, I don’t take it to heart as I know you are actually crying…you see, thatz Normal ;)

Enjoy your emotive adventures…laugh, cry, yell, stay upset, jump and slap, coz you are a human with emotions and your emotions describe you.
And you narrate your emotions at emotiveadventures.blogspot.com