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Thursday, November 3, 2016

Coping with the Death of a Loved One

Nobody can be buried to an extent that they become a memory, a fragment of our memory. Isn't is ruthless? That the person we loved so much and who loved us, even more, is no more…what is ‘no more’ when they were alive were they ‘any less’? then whats with this thing called death…where does it take our loved ones?

What is the purpose of this life, in which, we come from nowhere land and disappear back there, after living half a dozen decades…yes, that’s how meager it is, as it sounds…’half a dozen decades’. What do you want me to call it? LIFE? Isn’t that like giving too much weightage to these years…nothing but an experience for the soul, perhaps? Then why does it feel so much? Why does the pain exist…what I can see is nothing but the face of my loved one and her voice is all I hear. The care, the love, the presence of her cannot just go away. Her scent, her motherly care, her affection is all is left of her…this world, this planet doesn’t need her? Is she a star? Why do we always look up when someone passes away, expecting them to be there somewhere when actually we left them on earth.

Is a person’s life equal to only some tear droplets? An entire lifetime of love now only a few tear drops. How can we just move on when all the person, once alive, did, was to remember you, think about you and love you. Their full-stop is nothing but a small comma in our life sentence. That’s it? Well, a life sentence it is, like in the jail terms…because all your remaining life, you will have this vacuum left that nobody else can fill…and it is a life sentence for it is full of loving memories that now give you pain.

RIP Nimu Maasi…Is all I have to say…and the things left unsaid are too painful to express…a knot in my heart…a knot! I miss you and I wish I told you I love you, before you left us. I wish you a life that is full of life. Your journey with us doesn’t end here…I will live your memories every day.

You recited the dohas and narrated the Ramayan epic to me…but I don’t remember any of it, just your face all lit up when I answered your question about the moral of the story…all I remember is the way you gave meaning to this epic and brought the characters alive. The bhajans you sang in your melodious voice was not a prayer for me, but an opportunity to hear you sing in trance for your diety. It was always about you, Maasi…ALWAYS! You may have forgotten your acts of kindness and love but as a child, all got imprinted on my mind and I know, what a beautiful person you were…I think the RIP is not for the ones who are gone but is even badly needed for the people whom you leave behind. It is the souls of the living that are in pain and I cannot rest in peace without that lump in my throat and sorrow in my heart.

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