A Writer's Life

Pageviews last month

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Woman Nearing 30...correct it! GIRL about to step in EARLY 30s

I AM- a woman nearing 30
I AM- shocked in having undergone a recent realization phase, to know -  i am nearing 30
I AM- worried about the wrinkles - thin to thick lines that will gradually mask my youth
I AM- saving my tender years in hand, the experiences i experienced but alas! those have passed away into the mystery of the skies and in the form of oysters on the surface of the mighty ocean, unexplored
I AM- unstoppable in wearing outfits teens prefer coz I hesitate to believe that i have left behind my early 20s
I AM- reminded of those days and tick-tocks and can feel my presence in the past loitering away those beautiful years doing nothing more concretizing
I AM- rewinding time in my mind to live those years and outlive these
I AM- looking at the time ticking away like a stop watch...and

...look what i am doing, for heaven's sake,
can i keep these thoughts at bay until the time, when i will be counting my days towards death, lying on a cot in my old age
I forgot i am writing "I AM" and not "I WAS"...i am "STILL ALIVE"...
cant waste away on the time and memories i should be building up now...on the learning and grabbing of knowledge in libraries and experiences of life alike,
Good God, oh Lord! look what i have done! wasted away a few minutes...while:
I COULD HAVE admired my elegance corresponding to my current age and my maturity over the teens
I COULD HAVE instead looked into the mirror and have WOW-ed at my already-grown yet ever-growing beauty
I COULD HAVE wondered about the beautiful relationships i have built in and around me
The relationships within me would imply understanding my own self, my persona
Yey! whopee! i am nearing 30..can you believe it! i have just stepped into the beautiful years gifted to me for nurturing the foundation of my relationships, of counting those few lines across my face that amounts to my wisely ways of life, i have left behind those lethargic days to live a life where i dont demand things, but EARN things...i LEARN things...i  LIVE my thoughts, yes back to the I AM phase...

I AM - the decision-maker
I AM - capable in concretizing my dreams to live in real
I AM - no more fantasizing relationships but living the romance with my husband
I AM- no more a blooming flower but an already bloomed rose
I AM- no more single...but in a web of relationships I built to secure me, to thrive on my being
I AM- yes, I AM nearing 30 and am all smiles
I AM- still 27 and am forgetting my present in thinking about the 3 years later part of the story
I AM- already on the verge of finishing my wait to venture on my own
I AM- not just a traveler but a guide to my destiny
I AM nearing my 30.
I AM- happy
I AM- loving this
I AM- celebrating this
are you celebrating with me?
I AM- inviting you to
I AM - yes, i am, i am, i am, i am....A young girl! :) :) :) :) 
I AM- the one who has learnt to pray and yet fail
to understand that...
I AM- responsible to follow my prayers with hard work
I AM-  not just a dreamer but an architect of my dreams
I AM-  not some kid in risk of being duped by others talks
I AM- a thinker myself
I AM- the designer of my thoughts, my character and my words
I AM- the painter, filling in colors on the canvas of my life with:
Red-the love of my life - Arun, 
Golden - life full of relationships treating me royal
Blue- when facing failures - wuv! i am on a ride, and i enjoy the downs just like in any other rides in an amusement park
Yellow - the color of khichdi, I eat together with my husband at the end of the day to enjoy the quick bites of the food, the hard work throughout the day, the morsels of life...it never seems i have one life to live...its like living two lives when he narrates me the happenings of his day, the feelings he went through during the day combined with mine..its two lives in one, isn't it?
Yellow - also the color of Krishna, the reason for my existence, MY LORD! its his fav. color and signifies the importance of each day, each ray of the sun (by the way, Arun also means sun ;)
Green - the money-green i earn, the mother earth-green that gives life to me, food to me, the green of prosperity, the green of alienation when interacting with strangers
Silver- the color of stars shining brightly -to tell you the truth, i am the star of my family and the starry-eyed Arun, not-to-forget! :)
Pink - the presence of which is natural in my life, owing to the great feeling I am gifted with: of being a daughter, a baby girl, a  princess
Orange: no! not for sacrifice...but for the khatta-meetha happenings in life
and all the other colors combined together in the form of my dreams  -disfigured, seemingly discolored, but in real, the mix of all...soon to come true! 
After having said this, you think i have any reason possible for feeling low to be nearing 30...i DENY any possibilities! coz blessed i am with siblings and parents so great, with in-laws so respectful and loving; and husband - my personal diary storing all my emotions
I hereby declare,
but but but but but

Did someone say THIRTY!
I am STILL 27 ONLY... :) tee hee :)

No comments:

Post a Comment